I’m kinda hyphen a bad day. Having. I meant HAVING a bad day.

We all have vices – they’re what make us human, right? The thought resonated through my head as I walked briskly to meet my friends at the Avenue, a popular weekend hotspot for us. I was late – AGAIN – but figured on a Friday night no one would notice my absence in the midst of winding down from a long workweek with a few drinks.

With a flourish, I pushed open the heavy wooden door and walked in to  be greeted with familiar faces – yes – but not the ones I had expected to see at the bar tonight.

The whole gang's here! Someone grab Question Mark a beer - it looks confused.

My whole team of coworkers was there, down to the very last Period. Comma, Semi-Colon (whom, upon just getting married, was quite the feminist and still refused to fully take Colon’s last name, all in the spirit of individuality), Dash, even Caret –that weird character that everyone thought was the Tom Cruise of punctuation because it was so self-absorbed with gaining higher powers* – was there.

(Oh, hold on, Asterisk has something to say, and if it doesn’t speak now and instead waits until the end of this story, we’ll forget why it even attempted to interject in the first place.)

 On cue, but slightly off topic, Asterisk shouted, “Math is dumb! Down with numbers!”

Well, no disagreement there. Everyone in the room nodded in approval.

Anyway – as I was saying – I stopped dead in my tracks, looking bewilderedly at the caring faces surrounding me, those who had been with me throughout my lifelong passion for reading and writing. And there –drooping slightly sideways from the rafters – a hastily-written, sharpie-riddled sign:

“INTERVENTION”

Oh, what the eeeeeeeffff…

“Guys, let me explain. I know my drinking has been frequent, but if it’s not slow-pitch softball, it’s karaoke night, or Ribfest, or Tuesday…” I started to explain feebly.

“Its not that, sweetie,” said Comma, putting a gentle hand atop mine.

“Well, I mean, maybe I HAVE been late a lot, but have you seen THIS?!” I asked, pointing in the direction of my derriere. “I have to MacGyver the shit out of these jeans just to get them on! And you guys know how hard it is to be punctual…”

Crickets.

Nine out of ten crickets would agree - this just got awkward fast.

Silence hung awkwardly and abruptly in the room like a hyphen mid-sentence.

“Um, still no,” said Parentheses with a deep sigh.

“Look, I know maybe it’s not for everyone, but I really feel like my use of the word “rage” isn’t out of control, because we’re like, constantly raging, you know?” I said, sure I had nailed it. Which, conversely – as far as interventions go – this was anything but raging. I mean, I hadn’t even been served a drink yet. Seriously – were these jeans even doing their job?

Instead, Exclamation Point served me the biggest, unsettling thought of all.

“Your use of the hyphen has been…to say the least, a little out of control recently!” it pointed out – quite energetically, I thought, given the seemingly dire mood of the crowd.  

“How about we go around the room and read our pre-written letters to Cassie?” interrupted the intervention leader, which fittingly was Long Dash. “Ellipses, how about you start?”

“Cassie, I miss us,” Ellipses began. “What happened to US?! You used to be so indecisive…” it trailed off mumbling incoherent words.

“Guys, I could stop anytime,” I said carelessly, waving a hand casually – just to get them off my back.

Whoops. Ok – so maybe Exclamation had a point. I didn’t want to hear any more. It’s one thing to diss one’s creative writing style or their overly excessive use of certain words, but was I really doing anything wrong? The hyphen got me from A to B faster.

Algebra: Pick a side before you get picked off.

“A to B faster, like if a train was traveling at 60 mph in one direction from Point A and you could take a shortcut to cut off five minutes of travel time, you would,” interjected Caret unhelpfully. “If so, at what time would you reach your final destination, or Point B?”

A beer bottle thrown at Caret’s head from the back of the room solved that problem quickly.

Then, from the back of the room, a voice.

“I have been feeling a little abused lately,” said Hyphen quietly.

“Hey, thanks for the shout-out man!,” yelled Italics, fist-pumping Hyphen for added emphasis.

OMG, Hyphen’s actually here?!?! Hyphen’s here!!!! The voice in my head screamed with the exuberance of a 12-year-old Justin Bieber fan. Or, for that matter, a 40-year-old Justin Bieber fan. Or, really just any Justin Bieber fan.

I looked down at my outfit, feeling suddenly frumpy. Man, if I had known Hyphen was going to be there, I would have put on a cute dress, I thought nervously, smoothing back my bangs. “God, it looks cute tonight.”

Hey, I see what you did there!

Wait, did I just say that out loud? Maybe I did have a problem.

The room went fuzzy as I broke out in a cold sweat, unable to think about anything but my desperate need to use Hyphen in a sentence – as soon as possible. God, that felt good. If this was addiction, I didn’t care. It was also love.

Epilogue

Friends say I blacked out after that. When I woke, I was in bed, shivering from my lack of using the hyphen for two days. After that, I quit cold turkey. I knew that if I were ever to use the hyphen again, my coworkers would leave me to fend for myself, casting me into a dark, unpunctuated place full of rambling sentences. (Read: Hell) Oh, and the other forms of punctuation? Well, once formal figureheads in my life, they once again became simple place settings within my stories.

However, those who know addiction know it is a never-ending, uphill battle. I still get the itch every now and again to use the hyphen recklessly. When I do, I take a deep breath, look down at my keyboard, choose another character and remember that I own my punctuation use – it doesn’t own me.

Crap.

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239 responses to “I’m kinda hyphen a bad day. Having. I meant HAVING a bad day.

  1. This takes a lot of Brainwork to keep linking things with each other 🙂

    wonderful job, esp the dialogues are intriguing ! Awesome Creativity

    -Saurav from India

  2. Clever piece of writing, well done, thoroughly enjoyed it.

  3. Loved this! Very clever. It’s always awesome when we can step back, look at ourselves and our writing, laugh, improve – or try to, and help others.

    • I definitely agree with that. It’s easy to get stagnant, and I think the point of writing is to always be reaching for that little extra more that will make each piece special. 🙂

  4. Awesome! I’m a bit of a hyphen addict myself 🙂 And the period. He’s just so decisive.

  5. Fantastic! I might have to show this to my Comp 101 class just to see if they catch the humor! 😉 I love that hyphen is hot.

    On Friday, I’m running a thing on people’s favorite punctuation. I really love a good interrobang. It even sounds naughty, right? Please please please come and bring a link — and tell us about your love on hyphens on Friday.

    And congratulations on being squished flat! 😉

  6. Haha, truly–TRULY–truly remarkable. Perhaps there’s no writer who doesn’t know what you’re taking about–maybe there is–but I think they’re a minority. 😉 Nice story.

  7. I have a huge problem– you may notice it– but let’s not dwell on it too much, shall we? My hyphens love me, and I love them. Yes.

    Loved this post!

  8. Very clever! I have to check every post several times to cut down on ellipses…and I caught myself having a debate with a colleague about hyphens, dashes and parentheses the other day! Some of us are incurable.
    OK, now I’m confused. Just read that this post was Freshly Pressed on August 12. What is going on??? Well, I’ve commented now – first time ever – so I’m going to send it. Thanks for making me smile 🙂

    • Thank you! I wrote it a while back, but it never made it to the FP page until now. I’m with you on checking and rechecking posts – that’s become a bad habit in and of itself!

  9. Thanks everyone for your amazing words and support! Means the world to me!

  10. “Its not that, sweetie,” said Comma, putting a gentle hand atop mine.”

    Just then Apostrophe interrupted. “Ummm, did you forget something?” He sighed and muttered, “It’s … its ,,, people just don’t get it right these days.”

  11. Bravo! When my intervention comes, it will be because of bullet points (oh sweet, sweet bullet points). Why? Glad you asked:

    *Bullets are perfect for taking random, broken thoughts and making them look coherent.
    *Bullets can also break up large chunks of text, making it more pleasing to the eye.
    *Additionally, they can quickly provide key facts, figures, and random crap you’ve made up to those who skim instead of read.
    *No bullets, no problem. You can use asterisks, plus signs, or yes, even a hyphen. (I would normally go hyphens, but I do not want to have your relapse on my hands).

    • Have you noticed they make information appear more legit, as well? For instance:

      I have walked on the moon.

      The above statement doesn’t appear very factual, as I live in Nebraska and am neither an astronaut, nor am I light on my feet.

      -I have walked on the moon.

      On the other hand, with a bullet, that sentece looks totally credible. Uh huh. Now to write my book about my experiences walking on the moon (Sure to be filled with many a bullet point).

      • Quite frankly, I’d rather read your book about living in Nebraska, but that is because as a fellow Good Lifer, I’d get a kick out of what you’d have to say about this great state.

        • I’m sure people want to read a book about Nebraska approximately as much as they want to read a book about Iowa (Read: Not at all)! But I’ll keep the idea in mind! 😉

  12. I reallly liked this CassieBehle!!!!!!!! Funny, yet it makes one think 🙂

  13. haha this is such a great piece!. totally made a great laugh to start of my day.

  14. This was such a fun read. Personally, I have a rather cavalier attitude towards the use of hyphens but suspect an ongoing addiction to the em-dash that may require medical attention or participation in group therapy.

  15. I overuse hyphens, parentheses, AND exclamation points (particularly in e-mails), and I’m proud of it–and you should be too! Thanks for making me laugh on a Monday morning!

  16. Ha ha, this one made me lol

  17. I’m a former English teacher – and this was fabulous!!

  18. A very clever story. Well done. 😉

  19. Wonderfully written!!! I am an Exclamation abuser, and have no sight of stopping. How can you show exhuberance when writing comments or blogs without some umph?! Congrats on FP!!! AmberLena

  20. What a great post, loved the cricket part. Thanks for sharing.

  21. Hahah this is hilarious! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! 😀

  22. That was truely brillian; reading it was like unravelling a riddle. Fantastic concept. 🙂 —————————————————————————————— – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -FOLLOWED.

  23. Thank you for your very witty story. I love it. I must admit to having a punctuation phobia, especially towards the exclamation mark, the semi colon, parentheses and the hyphen. I can’t even bring myself to misuse punctuation here, and when I think I might use the abovementioned, I hesitate and cringe, but occasionally, against my better nature, I allow myself the indulgence of sinning against grammar. (eeek!!!) I am an ex high school English teacher and my students suffered terribly from my red pen. The more red pen marks, the lower their grade. Reading back over my comment, I think I tend towards overuse of the comma! (eek again!)

    • It’s the worst when you see poor grammar/punctuation in texting now that people are always in a hurry and abbreviations are “acceptable.” I’ve found deep breaths and lots of tequila shots tend to calm my frazzled nerves. 😉

  24. This is hilarious! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who gets a little too enthusiastic about my favorite punctuation. Thanks for the laughs.

  25. I’m glad I ended up clicking the link on FP page, that surely was worth it!! Keep up the writing! I tend to use ellipsis too much (and sometimes exclamation marks). 🙂

  26. this is freakin’ hilarious. I’m only at the stage of saying a long farewell to the ellipses…

  27. wish be there with my iphone 4 . i bought an iphone 4 in http://duclinhmobile.vn/detail/product/iphone-4-32gb-qte-/346 to love this

  28. funny! good stuff and i appreciate the good read. made my night slightly more exciting.

  29. So funny! How did you come up with that?

    http://howficklemyheart.wordpress.com
    New Post: Abandonment Photography.

    • I realized I had a problem when I started dating again and realized I would end things with new potentials if our first few text conversations were not formatted straight out of the AP English Stylebook. 😉

  30. adamselsdiscontent

    This cracked me up. Very witty!

  31. I have a problem with using hyphenated words. Maybe I need an intervention as well.

  32. Very, very funny. I’m addicted too – though I never realized it was a problem until I read your post.

    http://www.teachingisnotaparttimejob.wordpress.org

  33. I love the hyphen and dash–it adds pizazz… great post.

  34. This is great – seriously funny and well-written. See? You aren’t the only addict out there. Love it!

  35. Bahahaha. I loved reading this. xD
    Thanks for the laugh. ♥

  36. I enjoyed it- it was a great post and it made me laugh…:)

  37. Very cute! Do not, I repeat, do not read my blog with a red pen in your hand…

  38. Funny post! Congrats on being FP! 🙂

  39. Congrats on FP Cassie, that was awesome! I love a great story line that almost makes you miss the lesson until it’s right in your face and you can’t deny it. Punctuation Addict…priceless!

  40. That was awesome!

  41. Wonderful post! Although isn’t it actually dash, not hyphen? Not that it’s particularly relevant, since it’s kinda like addiction to gin rather than whiskey.
    I am in recovery from elliptical use myself, though my sponsor is somewhat lenient….

    • You know – you’re one of the few people who TOTALLY caught me on that! 🙂 Well done, and yes – although I figure it’s the same symbol for both and if I don’t care that much about the difference, perhaps I’m not as much of an addict as I thought!

  42. Great. You made me giggle – not an easy trick to pull off, I can tell you. I love the use of the dash and hyphen – they make the typed word much more conversational and relaxed on the page, adding a thoughtful aspect, I reckon. But I suppose relaxed can go just that little bit too floppy and it is a lazy way of not constructing full sentences, I suppose. However, I also went v red in the face and came over all hot when reading this. Harumph – I must go over my blog entries and count how many I’ve used to-date.

    • Pretty soon my blogs will just consist of random thoughts separated by the dash:

      I love slurpees – Why did David the Gnome get canceled? – Miss. Complete. Sentences…

  43. Hy-phen was genuine. Supreme!

  44. Nice post and congrats for being FP!

  45. Striving to always be an equal oppty writer, I really enjoyed the way you gained my trust in relating your punctuation burdens. I didn’t semi-colon like it, I exclamation point liked it. Simple, unvarnished, it brought a quiet smile… Well ‘hypen’ Done!

  46. This is brilliant. Brilliant, I say! I feel bad about my own overuse of the hyphen, but I just don’t know what I’d replace it with aside from a lot of unnecessary words.

    I’m trying to figure out how I can work this into a lesson for my ESL students, if I may have your permission to do so.

  47. Wonderful blog. Articles are beautifully worded. Congratulations. Keep it up. Good Luck. Have an excellent time. Cheers.

  48. This was so great. Very funny! Great post and congrats on Freshly Pressed. It’s well deserved. 😀

    – Ermisenda

  49. A superb piece Cassie! You’ve made me question my string relationship with ellipsis… I hope she doesn’t mind.

  50. I enjoyed reading it so much because I was also kinda hyphen a bad day. Having! I meant HAVING a bad day too 😉 you writing is so fun to read 🙂

  51. Pingback: “Happy” National Punctuation… Day! | Grumbling & Gratitude

  52. Oh I loved this! The only thing is, I was a little confused — were you talking about hyphen, or the dash? Because you did differentiate.
    Otherwise, great post, and congrats on Freshly Pressed! 🙂

    • Great catch – made me laugh my tush off when I realized I was using the dash the majority of the time in the story. Either way, that’s probably a good indicator that I’m not as much of an addict as I previously thought!

  53. This was clever and adorable. I, too, find myself using the hyphen far more often than I should -but who is to say how often is too often?

  54. gosh! this post is brilliant. congrats on Freshly Pressed. :))

  55. Such a clever post! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed 🙂

  56. Haha, great post! Loved reading it!

  57. Great post! This was too funny! I am addicted to Exclamation Points!!!!

  58. This is so great! You made me laugh. 🙂

  59. Awesome. My wife and I are doing edits of our novel, Sleight of Spirit, and one of the exceeding aggravating points is going back over every single page and fixing the miniscule points of grammar that while technically correct, annoy the living hell out of readers in excessive amounts. Namely? The hyphen (and often the ellipses).

    Good entry!

  60. Cassie made Mr Bricks laugh!

  61. I’ve never really used hyphens much (other than making up words that probably shouldn’t use hyphens). My problem is parenthesis (as seen in the first sentence, and now this one).

    Congrats on being Fresh Pressed! This was a great story. 🙂

  62. En dashes are bloody beautiful things, man. In fact, I’ve always felt that you have to use more than one, or they start to look a bit over-enthusiastic, all on their own there, like that one guest who arrives embarrassingly early to the party (it’s me. I’m that guest. Sorry. I like parties).

    It’s quite evident that I like hyphens too. Although I can’t do any witty “meta-” stuff with them. And that one was unintentional.

    Still not sure you can beat a well-placed semi-colon as the ultimate in punctuation, but that’s a whole other issue.

    Enjoyed the article. Much more highbrow than my own blog!

    • I’m always the one who arrives late to the party, thus explaining my need to overuse the hyphen and dash as much as possible – just trying to catch up as quickly as I can with the conversation, ya know?

  63. Oh very, very well put – great post – congrats on FP

  64. How I love punctuation. Nice blog! keep writing please; they’re good reads!
    Check my blog for English and grammar posts! 🙂

  65. What a fascinating analogy. Reading this post sure did give my brain a workout. What a creative take on coping with addiction. All the best to u as you continue your journey.

  66. Love it! Your writing and humor are just fantastic. Well done, thank you, and congrats on being Freshly pressed!

  67. Oh my, this is brilliant. And love that I found a fellow creative writer through FP!

  68. Loved this! I’m a chronic coma, semi-colon, ellipsis and exclamation mark abuser. I’m just not ready to let go!

    http://www.eclecticlemonadestand.wordpress.com/

  69. Very clever (and funny) post! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

    Now that I’ve “met” you, though, I care enough to point out that it seems you’re really addicted to both hyphens and em-dashes.

    In fact, I think your friends may have been going easy on you by focusing on the hyphen. They’re gentle that way — at least, when the Square Bracket brothers aren’t around. Those guys are just sic.

    • Don’t I know it – they ARE pretty good at filling in background information though. I always love it when a story features them unnecessarily. Such as:

      Jeffrey ate [all of the] sandwiches.

      Thank God we know [all of the] story!

  70. And then the umlaut walked in and was embarrased that she was wearing the same outfit as the colon

  71. I am forwarding this to a fellow hyphen addict. Great creative writing – loved it!

  72. What you don’t know is that hyphen has a wife and kid on the other side of town and he goes by the name dash! Better check yourself before you wreck yourself.

  73. Are you talking about hyphens or dashes? All your examples are of dashes… Or maybe the problem is you (like my students) use hyphens when you should be using dashes?

    • I think you were the first to call me on this – I had to laugh when I realized my mistake! Same symbol, different uses, but doesn’t a rose by any other name still smell as sweet?

  74. The Epilogue was perfect. 😀
    I’m addicted to the full stop. I like it. A lot.

  75. When I was writing my undergraduate thesis in philosophy I honestly thought my advisor was going to kill me for using so many hyphens. I truly empathize with your experience.

  76. Clever work – you deserve the accolade!

  77. when you put it that way, it made me realize my recent addiction is that dot dot dot thing. yep, …

  78. Cle-ver… (could your co-workers help me out with my elipses abuse?…)

  79. I think I need more knowledge over English to understand the humor of this post. 😦

  80. id like to take punctuation and throw it to the Sh**house so thanks so much for the posting:)

  81. This is so – um – hyphenrific! Or I should say: hyphen-tastic.

  82. I really enjoyed your post! I am new to blogging, and the title of your post caught my eye on WordPress….I too am a language lover and sometimes I use a hyphen recklessly – it is so easy to do, and feels liberating!
    Thanks for a funny post! : )

  83. Beautifully done! I am a punctuation junkie, myself. Congratulations.

  84. This is pretty hilarious and kind of sad; I have an addiction to semi-colon.

  85. Great post, if not a bit presumptious…thinking we know what all the names of punctuation are, or how to use them properly. Congratulations on being “Freshly Pressed” you obviously deserve it!

  86. I am too guilty.Hi, my name is Myra, and I am a hyphen lover.
    How witty of you.

    I can dig it.

  87. LMAO. Fantastic post.

  88. Awesome! The perfect use of one’s right brain. Congratulations for being on FP.

    http://akosigabz.wordpress.com

  89. Excellent, I over use all of these!!

  90. This is awesome!

  91. fascinating article!!! maybe ill think about using hyphens now… im more into exclamation points though. but who knows, hyphens might work for me! ;p

    http://travellersdiningdepot.wordpress.com/

  92. Well done on being fresh pressed. I went on there by mistake by pressing the wrong button. Normally I ignore the fresh pressed posts as being full of pictures travel and catering tips etc, which is’nt really my thing but your headline caught my eye and I’m glad it did. A really good post: witty and well written so a genuine well done to you . Woot Woot etc

  93. This story is like prized eye drops to my overworked editor eyes.

  94. glad freshly pressed hypened this up, that was great.

  95. Absolutely brilliant!
    Really brought all the punctuation to life and gave them personalities of their own!
    Glad you were Freshly Pressed – otherwise I would have missed out on this incredible piece!

  96. CTHUL! I think Girl on the Contrary is gonna be mad at me now for cheating on her….

  97. Congrats on being fresh pressed! Glad you were because I would have missed your genius otherwise. Fresh! Perfect!

  98. Wow good article. I believe that I may have a punctuation addiction as well… I may need some help on this one.

  99. *Nel on a way to a run. Decides to quickly check freshly-pressed articles…Sees Cassie Behle’s interesting title…Reads to the very end for the next 5 to 10 minutes (time flies when you’re having fun)…Realizes she too may have a “punctuation…” overuse problem…She never tried or considered using the hyphen…Now she’s hoping that when she starts using it – it’s manageable.

  100. Awesome, I loved the post! Keep it up!

    🙂

    uponatlas.

  101. This was awesome! I’m also partial to hyphens – though it’s the exclamation marks that do me in.

  102. Haha, this is excellent. The puns and the image captions really do it for me. Bravo.

    • Thanks – they’re something new I’m trying! Not the puns – those are sadly an irreversable part of my life. The worse they are, the happier I am. I mean the captions. It’s challenging to make a joke in just a few words!

  103. This was a great post! I’ve been known to “overuse” the ellipses…whatever that means 🙂 in my poetry! Terrific and inventive writing here.

  104. This was so great. I am kind of jealous not to think of it first. Excellent, excellent, and congrats on Freshly Pressed 🙂

  105. I love this. I love you – even though I don’t know you – I love you anyway!

    I also love…semi-colon.

    • MomSomniac, are you just looking at things on the blog and saying that you love them?

      “I love semi-colon! I love semi-colon!”

      (Like on Anchorman – Brick: “I love lamp!”)

  106. awesome – congrats on being freshly pressed!

    jaimyn,
    http://jabelone.com/

  107. This was really great post. thank you for that end-of-day humor.
    As an English major — hyphen became my BFF.

  108. I hated this post, mostly because I didn’t write it. I’m jealous that I didn’t think of this, and how dare you think of it first! It’s awesome! Do you realize that? The hyphen is my best friend – I use it all the time. I’m a punc* rocker!

    *tuation

  109. this was SOOOOOO cute. i loved it. i also am very particular about the placement of punctuation marks

  110. I’m an over-user of the ellipses. In fact, I tend to under use the hyphen and get caught by spell check when I’m not hyphenating words that I should be. I love this post though, very creative!*

    *I over exclaim as well. I’m just too excited!

  111. So curiosity lead to further investigation when I first happened to notice the pun-tastic title of this post featured on the front page of this site, and upon reading the first few lines, I got really into the story- and I don’t even really like to read “for fun” kind of things, that much. I normally read opinionated articles on events or concepts, but the voice/personality of your writing style is too fluid too resist. I don’t mean to rant, but as a student taking a course focusing on the relationships between readers and writers, I guess the dork in me can’t help but get so enthusiastic, even outside of class. The whole thing was just really cleverly put together, and a lot of fun to read. So, hey, thanks for making me laugh/smile, because I too frequently abuse my love of hyphens- and slashes. c:

  112. I love the hyphen – he’s just so easy to use. No offense to ellipses, but it takes three taps on my keypad to use him – SO not practical. (Caps is cool, though.)

  113. Haha, good stuff! I wrote a short bit from the point of view of a typographical error once. This was very well done! Thanks!

  114. I am in love with parentheses (have you heard the song called Parentheses by The Blow? http://www.lyricstime.com/the-blow-parentheses-lyrics.html “when you’re holding me…we make a pair of parenthesis…” I love that song.) This love affair began when I read the poet ee cummings, a man who made a living by playing with punctuation. Thank you for sharing.

  115. Wow, this is brilliant!!! Me? I’m guilty of using – too many dots n dashes… 😉

  116. I was disappointed to not see the Tilde included in this story. Tilde plays an important part in the internet, you know. Without him, every URL to a personal homepage ever setup on a college website would be missing a character!

    • Tilde couldn’t make it because he was too busy jet-skiing in Maui and taking body shots off of Andpersand. You see where his priorities are? Conveniently misplaced…

  117. brill — you captured it!!!!! You “REALLY”… did!!!*

    *forgot what i was going to say

  118. I’m a big hyphen user too, but I think you’re right that the hyphen likes the attention 😉 This is a fantastic post and put a huge smile on my face! Thanks for sharing and congrats on being freshly pressed!

  119. And here I thought that I was the only one with a favorite punctuation.

    Not trying to be brat… but… I think your real addiction is the em dash! Trust me, it’s my favorite too!

    This post was brilliant though. If you’re ever going to have an intervention, this has to be the best one!

  120. Thanks for such a hilarious post! Really enjoyed reading it 🙂

  121. Lawd, I chuckled real hard.

  122. *gigglesnorts* I’m not sure what I was expecting when I clicked on this on Freshly Pressed, but it was definitely worth it.

  123. Grammar-nerds after my own heart. Three cheers to WordPress for highlighting your post. (How do you get them to do that?)

    Anybody addicted to italics?

  124. kitkatlikereflexes

    Haha! This was awesome! 😀

  125. Thank you for this, I needed it!

  126. Awesome. Very creative and effectively written post. I loved it. Extremely funny.

  127. Thanks for posting – I enjoyed it! – – – – -> (hyphen-arrow.)

  128. AMAZING!!! Loved the post! He is an addicting little guy.

    PS. if you’re emotion-con friends are the next to invite you out for a drink, I would turn it down … no one can survive TWO interventions

  129. Hello. My name is Chrystal and I am addicted to hyphens – and exclamation points!

  130. This made me laugh out loud several times! Thanks!

  131. This is very creative and funny. I enjoyed reading this whole thing!

  132. Wow, this was excellent! Loved every punctuation-filled sentence (see what I did there?). Oh, and I am an ellipses addict as well…it’s just so inviting.

  133. Fun, fun, fun. But I am guessing there is a small number of us who enjoy this kind of thing.

  134. Love the play on words 🙂

  135. I think I need the same thing, except with commas. Good luck in your journey back to normal punctuation use.

  136. I love love LOVE this — and the em dash, en dash, elipses, etc.

    We’re such word nerds … or at least punctuation geeks. 😉

  137. love love love- have a similar addiction to poor use of (and over use of) punctuation! just finished my post on my addiction when i cam e upon yours. very funny – very creative – and hope i have used enough hyphens in this comment to keep you happy!

  138. Very creative piece! It made me laugh because I have a bad habit of overusing the : ” ….”

  139. I repent. I am completely addicted to the hyphen. It is a humorous storytellers best friend.
    Notice how restrained I was? I’m on hyphen-withdrawal meds. Pray for me. 🙂

  140. Aw, so close. You almost made it. 🙂 Fun post.

  141. Great creative writing, as usual. Personally, I think I have an ellipses problem… I also love the hyphen. At least it isn’t the caps lock key?!

  142. Hyphens are the best. This was very creative…

  143. Haha – love it! 😉

    • Thanks for reading! I thought that perhaps all my fellow bloggers would appreciate and understand what it’s like to feel thoroughly owned by grammar/punctuation some (most?) days! 🙂

  144. This was hilarious! I, too, am addicted to hyphen use. Maybe there’s a Twelve Step Program somewhere for people like us…

    • Thanks much – glad you enjoyed it! Yes, I’ve heard you’re supposed to take it a day at a time, but I figure there are worse things than overusing the hyphen….like overusing the exclamation point, for instance! Especially on Mondays. Especially before noon. 😉

  145. Hyphen Intervention! Yikes I hope they don’t find me – Abuse away – the little guy can handle it!

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