The alphabet? That’s like, literally 26 letters, right? Oh, whatever…

As a communication specialist and writer in general, it’s only natural that the ABCs consume my life. Some days I struggle over letters (granted, usually while playing Words With Friends), while other times I form them into words, sentences and paragraphs almost effortlessly. Almost. Wine helps.

Most days, I arrange these characters into monotonous corporate stories about new miscellaneous billing processes or HR’s latest exercise program. I’m on the edge of my seat, too. On good days I’m here, writing posts and desperately attempting to keep my “real job” at bay, Little Engine style.

“Yes, I’ll take two please.” “Ma’am, you have to win the award, you can’t just..” “..wrap ’em up!”

On great days, I am presented with the ABC Award for Awesome Blog Content (guess I’m not quite at amazing, huh?). What was just a normal Tuesday for you last week was that great day for me!

Could it be, I thought, that this blog, formerly a means of personal escape, is becoming something of substance for others, as essential as eating or breathing?  (Let a girl dream!) Meanwhile, I’m sure my parents were somewhere thinking, Oh, thank GOD she’s actually sticking with something for once. Not like that time she took up tumbling…or piano…or babysitting.

Honestly, why are kids so sticky all the time?! It’s not right.

So suddenly, monumental value has once again sprung from those mere 26 letters, alongside more friendships and appreciation than I could have ever imagined receiving. For that – and for giving me this award – I thank ya, Miss MJ, Nonstepmom!

If I could ruin this award with one thing – and I will – isn’t the word “awesome” one of the most overused words in today’s society? I’m thinking it’s right up there with “whatever,” “literally,” or “you know,” but then again, you know, what do I know?

Anyway, it’s whatever. I dunno.

As the rules of this award are a little ambiguous to me, I’ll proceed to the next step in the award process – to come up with an adjective that describes me for every letter of the alphabet. 

He’s so good at magic that he disappeared completely from every television network!

AWOL: In college, my nickname was Houdini because I’d leave or show up super late to events and parties on a whim. Your move, Criss Angel.
Blunt: I will tell you the honest truth, but only if you promise to hold a grudge against me for the next month or two. There, that’s nice.
Cheesy: Last week, I slow danced with Clayton in the middle of a bar called Mister Toads. During karaoke. We’re uber romantic.
Dependable: I don’t know when this one happened. It just sort of snuck up on me, like suddenly having to pee when you’re 90.
Empathetic: I cry at tampon commercials. “Look, now she can hike and camp and bike!” *Wild applause*
Feisty: Chances are, I’m about to form tackle you. Out of nowhere. Stop looking behind you like you know when it’s coming.
Great: As in, “The Great Cassie.” I really think this could catch on.
Hopeful: A synonym of “hopeful” is “buoyant.” So, this is a double whammy, as now I apparently double as a floatation device. No, I will not fly with you “just in case.”
Idealistic: I straighten framed artwork in the hallways at work when no one is looking.
Jazzy: I went to a jazz club once. Didn’t hate it.
Klutzy: I’m capable of tripping while standing still. 
Lucky: I just haven’t won Quick 7s because it’s not my TIME to yet. That’s all.
Meticulous: I overthink everything. EVERYTHING. Well, maybe everything is too all-encompassing. Most things? I definitely overthink some things but….

Yearn: it’s like yarn, only cats don’t tear you to pieces, your lover being at sea for 10 years does.

Nostalgic: I’ve yearned a day or two in my time, sure.
Open-minded:  Except if you like bad music. Or orange-flavored candies. Oh, or clogs. Unless you’re Dutch, then you get a free pass. Look, we’re compromising!
Playful: Pillow/blanket fort playful. Yes, you may come over. But call your mom first to make sure it’s ok.
Quixotic:  I may also be a realist, but the best part about being quixotic is I can be both. And that, my friends, is what we call a win-win.
Realistic: Jennifer Aniston will never get married. Boom. See what I did there?
Sincere: I am, I swear!
Tough: But not in a “Built Ford Tough” kinda way, more like in a “Brave Little Toaster” kinda way.
Uncontrollable: Temper tantrums upon not getting my way at the supermarket are not beneath me.
Vivacious: Mostly on Mondays, before the full workweek and after work errands kill my spirit.
White: Exemplified in the way I dance.
Xylophonic: With just a hint of pitchiness.
Yare: Like the fanciest of boats.
Zesty: As in, not in need of any orange or lemon zest, cuz I’ve got my own flava.

Finally, I must recognize five fellow bloggers who I believe have awesome blog content. But hell, you know what? I’m suddenly feeling zesty, so let’s do seven.

  1. Bridgesburning – Word-o-wisdom – now 50 percent off!
  2. LiketheHours – I guarantee you’ll liketheblog (that was bad; I’m sorry)
  3. KayJai – She’s Canadian, but we’ll let it slide this time 😉
  4. Silva Gang – She writes about cats, and I like cats, and you should too!
  5. Edrevets – Where Snotting Black isn’t cause for a doctor visit, probably
  6. PithyPants – Dude. Those pants are pithy as efffff.
  7. Maloquacious – Feel good posts, plus, poems – she’s got ‘em!

Have a lovely weekend, everyone! Happy Friday!

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21 responses to “The alphabet? That’s like, literally 26 letters, right? Oh, whatever…

  1. I love this! Oh and I’m Jules, newly following and lovin’ up yer blog 🙂

    Poor Jennifer Aniston. Geesh. She can’t get a break.

    • Nice to meet you, and glad you’re a fan!

      There’s still hope for her, I think – a Friends movie hasn’t even been made yet. If it does, she can go back to a better time for her, still ripe with 90s-inspired hope, perky tatas, and bouncy hair. 😉

  2. oh wine, so magical, so cheap. Thanks for the shout out btw, hope the week goes swimmingly along.

  3. You ARE the Barve Little Toaster, I knew it ! & yeh, white girls cant dance. Well done !

  4. hummm, the supermarket temper tantrums you mentioned remind me of someone who fell to the ground and pounded the floor with my fists saying “No Fair, no fair” after being told there were no GF cupcakes left at Jones Bakery…….OH, YES I DID!!!!!! Funny how all the rest of my family completely ignored me and I had to get up off the floor all by myself and nonchalantly ask for the stale GF meringue cookie no-one wanted. But the cookie was alittle AWESOME!

    ps after I find my dictionary, I’ll look up Quixotic. smarty pants

  5. Have a very nice weekend!!

  6. You are awesome and like literally one of my favorites too, you know? Boom. See what I did there? Happy Cuatro de Mayo, by the way! LOVE the post and the cartoon!

    P.S. Wine DOES help turn writers into wordsmiths! You really must stop giving out our dirty little secrets. 😉

    • Omg, did we just become blogosphere besties?! Haha.

      Wine is the secret to everything, my dear. 😉 Happy Cinco de Mayo! May your day be rich with tequila shots and bad attempts at speaking Spanish. Salud!

  7. An enormously funny, entertaining post, Houdini! You rock, gal! And thanks so much for the shout out for my blog…so very chuffed, dear Cassie! 🙂

  8. “The Great Cassie”, I LOVED your blog! Keep up the excellent work!

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