But first, a conundrum. I began writing this post only to end up with three completely different beginnings. Since I’m incapable of making even the easiest decision, I’ve decided (after much debate) to leave it up to you! Similar to the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books in which you flip to a certain page to read the ending you want, you may choose to begin this blog at #1, #2 or #3. Once you’ve picked, you may continue reading the remainder of the post at the “Continue reading here” mark.
Well, would you look at that. I’ve successfully turned this informal, just-for-funsies post into a reading assignment with multiple instructions. Excellent. Just like a baby shower host says when you’re forced to eat baby food and guess the flavors: “It’s fun once you get started, I swear!”
In addition, you have thirty minutes to complete the blog. At the end of thirty minutes, I will then ask you to pick up your pencils for a short quiz on comprehension. #2 pencils only. No, Jimmy – that blue pen will not work. Before anyone asks, no, bathroom breaks are not allowed. We’ve been through this before.
1. I should clarify the title of this post. The way I feel about the award is lovely. Not to say the award itself couldn’t be superficially lovely, of course. The jpg image that coincides with it seems lovely enough, although I have yet to stare deep into its eyes to assess its inner being. But let’s get to the true matter at heart.
2. Finding out I won the One Lovely Blog Award initially resulted in a daydream straight out of a rousing game of Family Feud.
Steve Harvey: “What words would you use to describe Cassie Behle’s blog?”
Contestant 1: “Ummm…riddled with ADD?”
Steve Harvey: “You’re going to go with ‘riddled with ADD?’”
Contestant 1: “Yup!”
Steve Harvey: “Is that your final answer?”
Contestant 1: “This isn’t Who Wants to be a Millionaire.”
Steve Harvey: “I wish it was. I’d be getting paid a hell of a lot more as a host…Did I just say that on air? Anywho, show me ‘riddled with ADD!’” Gestures to the scoreboard with a flourish.
Scoreboard: “Wah, wah, waaaaaaah.”
Steve Harvey: “Contestant 2?”
Contestant 2: “Er….lovely?”
Steve Harvey (looks down at paper): “Survey says…lovely!”
3. When your full-time job, freelance job and hobbies revolve around writing, the constant requirement to spit out detailed, accurate information cleverly interwoven within punchy, enthralling copy can numb anyone’s creativity.
A rigorous weekly routine of laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, exercising, and keeping my cat alive doesn’t help matters. By the time I’ve crossed those items off my list, I usually have one more to add: closely scrutinizing my head in the mirror for any potentially new gray hairs.
This usually leads to a solid five minutes rocking my tabby cat in my arms, staring ahead in a daze while murmuring, “You’ve got a lot of gray and you’re still lovely…” Yes, my transition to crazy cat woman is almost complete.
On top of all that, it’s football season, not to mention my favorite season of all – fall. I’m so busy perfectly layering skinny jeans atop boots and scarves atop fitted jackets atop cardigans atop boho shirts atop tanks that by the time I head to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte, I’m exhausted!
I blame Pinterest for all of my life’s woes and lack of time, really. Although, I suppose I would have more time if I got to the point.
Lately, I haven’t been able to give this blog or my fellow bloggers the attention they deserve. With life’s flurry of activity, the blog is unfortunately the first thing to take a hit, as it sits in the #6 spot on the priority list behind God, family, friends, wine and work.
If a post isn’t done by Friday, it’s simply not in the cards for the week, 1.) Because I hate cards (game, not greeting) and 2.) Because once the weekend hits, I technologically fall off the grid. It’s true. I tuck and roll right outta there as if my life depended on it. (Which, my social life does!)
CONTINUE READING HERE
So, imagine my surprise when I was presented with the One Lovely Blog Award last week from my dear pal, Mal, over at Maloquacious. Thank you for your support and cheerful comments, and thanks for being you! If it weren’t for you, I would never have added the words “rollicking,” “chuffed” or “smashing” to my daily vocabulary! Cheers!
Check out Mal’s page, but come back here afterward – I’m not done with you yet. And, just a reminder? The clock’s ticking.
To make myself feel better about getting things crossed off my “To-Do” list, I shall now cross off the first requirement of this award – to thank the person who nominated me and link back to them in my post.
Next, I must share seven things about me.
1. I check on my tomato and jalapeño plants more than a mother checks on her newborn baby. At least babies are round and fit easily in the crook of your arm. Try holding a planter in your arms, feeding your jalapenos water rich in nutrients while typing out the news at work when you can’t find a plant sitter. Then we’ll talk.
2. I buy my tacos from a truck on the side of the highway. By choice.
3. The feminist in me is infuriated that bowling alleys always make the lightweight bowling balls pink.
4. I do my best thinking at night, which is unfortunate because that’s also when I do my best sleeping.
5. I take the shortest baths. Once in, the questions in the back of my mind are inevitably, Now what? or How long do I have to do this for? Then, I get stressed out because I’m trying to relax but all I can think about is the water getting colder by the second and how I’m wasting the hot water on my neuroticism. Other things I can’t help but think about are: who owned the apartment before me, if they liked to take baths, too, and if they were 60 years old and/or hairy.
6. I teasingly chase my cat around the apartment only to end up fearfully and very seriously running for my life and squealing like a little girl when she turns the tables.
7. I’m the girl who will jam out to Britney Spears in the car with the windows down only to turn the radio down and change it to a Minus the Bear CD at a stop light so other drivers think I’m cool. Yes, I am aware that I am, in fact, not cool.
I’m now required to nominate 15 other bloggers. Instead, I am going to nominate only five so they don’t get lost in a mix of names and to show my true appreciation for their wit, humour (using the “o” and “u” was just for you, Mal!) and insight. Visit their pages – each boasts their own unique style of ingenious writing.
Lastly, I’m supposed to leave a comment on their blogs letting them know that they have been nominated. On it.
Oh, and there’s no quiz. Thought I’d try scare tactics on my readers to see if I could get you to the end of this ridiculously long post. Did it work?